Jackie, CD Passed this Morning Around 5 AM

I just can't express how heavy my heart is right now.  A chunk of my heart was ripped out this morning by three words uttered to me by my husband upon waking..."Jack is dead".   Whatever had laid dormant until the "hairball incident" finally claimed our Jack.  

Jack was still warm when I rushed to his side.   Robert had been checking on him all night, and had last seen him alive at 3 am and drinking water.   I touched him at 5 am, and he was still warm.   I thought "oh he's still with us, Robert was wrong."   Alas, my beautiful boy had indeed gone.  His paws were getting cold, his gums were icey, but other parts were still warm.   He must not have left too long ago.  

It's so unfair.   You put all this love and care into this life, and it's ripped from you before you are ready.  We have been lucky in that Jazz died of old (and I do mean old) age, both our cats (Clyde and Mustache) died of old age, and our dog Neptune died of heart disease but he lived a couple more years than expected.   It was no fun, but we were more prepared for the deaths of our previous pets.   Three of old age, and one that lived with a very serious heart condition longer than expected.

Jack had barely been sick a day in his life.   Before coming to us at the age of two, I understand he had a few obstruction surgeries.   He a list of behavioral issues that came with him, some of which I expect came from this thing dwelling inside him.   My husband and I ironed out a lot of those behavioral problems so the list was short, and spent a lot of time working with and having fun with him.   Jack loved spending time with us.   He was such a smart dog, and so loving.   He was a foster that was supposed to go back to DRU, and then go onto another family but he wormed his way into my heart.   I could not let him leave, and try out another few homes.   He had come home to live with us as his final destination.

He and I shared a huge accomplishment in getting his Companion Dog.   I would have never thought Jack (due to his dog aggressiveness) would have been capable.   I should say especially with me, never handling a dog in competition before.   Jack stuck with me though, and we both completed that adventure together.   Had we been dealt better odds, we probably would have gone on to do more things.   Jackie was an amazing dog.   I admired his ability to find anything dead or alive in the woods.   Few things crack me up more than remembering the "turkey incident" with Jackie, and the look of pure joy on his face as he chased a very angry turkey towards me.   Who knew turkeys had a temper?   And that when I called, Jack off the turkey that the turkey would go after Jack.   Or the time he danced into our yard with the deer leg in his mouth.   Things with Jack WERE NOT dull ever.   He loved the woods, and he loved his dog friends that he accepted.   Most of all, he loved his family.  And I assure you his family loved him back in return.

I just wish he was still here.   I still can't quite believe that he isn't.